Advice from a Pussycat Father

If my wife is a Tiger Mother, I guess I am a Pussycat Father, which inevitably will be abbreviated.

You may have heard about Professor Amy Chou's book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" which was briefly in newspaper headlines as "You're a Terrible Parent." I didn't read the book either, nor do I have any intention of lying and saying I will. But I did see her interviewed on the Colbert Report, and I think that pretty much entitles me to comment on it. Besides, my children's mother is a Tiger Mom, and that's nothing compared to a Tiger Wife. 

According to Chou, and Steve Colbert, her book is supposed to be funny, but newspapers only quoted the serious parts. She discusses Asian mothers who won't let their kids be in school plays, go to slumber parties, and/or smile. That is why Asian kids do well in school and the rest of us smoke pot and play video games. Already many American editorials have come out criticizing Chou and saying how kids need to have a social life and freedom to express themselves, get high and play Call of Duty. My blog is pretty late in the game, so late that Chou’s 15 minutes were about 20 minutes ago, but I feel since my wife is Chinese, my two daughters go to Taiwanese public elementary school, and I have taught in Taiwanese public schools, maybe my 2 cents is worth three, even with deflation. 

I've seen both sides up close and personal. I’ve seen my students come in looking like zombies, studying seven days a week, 10 or more hours a day. The better they are, the more they have to study. The reason is because their whole education is based on tests. Starting in the second semester of first grade, nearly all Taiwanese students nation-wide have competitive tests about every seven weeks. Many parents will do anything to get their kids ahead. And this of course includes no slumber parties, no school plays, no video games, and no smiling.

The result is they are amazing students whose math ability passes mine in the fifth grade. I know that first hand because when my daughter asks me to help her with her math homework, I have no clue. But there are side effects to this kind of education. They include severe lack of sleep and any resemblance to a childhood.

It would be easy for me to criticize the whole system, step up to the pulpit and tell all Tiger Mom’s they need to allow their kids to play more video games and smoke more pot, but I can’t do that. See, I went to public school in Anacortes Washington in the good old USA. Although I had a good time, it had its faults. Athletes were worshiped and scholars were put upside down in garbage cans. Wearing the right clothes was almost as important as not admitting you studied. Cliché groups roamed the halls bullying anyone who looked different, and getting a C meant showing up most of the time. I think we could do better, but for Americans, it works. Over confident and cocky, Americans have come up with such things as the Internet and MTV. We can’t do math, but we think of really cool things when we are high.

And in Taiwanese society, as well as what I know of many Asian cultures, their systems works for them. Think about their economies right now. Is someone from the West going to start preaching to China, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Singapore, etc. they need to get rid of school uniforms and start football leagues? Sure I agree that their education systems could be better too, but just like ours, that does not make them bad.

That said and done, I bitch about Tiger Moms all the time, just ask my wife. Slumber parties are fun, school plays are cool, and I’ve even heard video games are awesome. Why not take part in them? Life is not only about trying to get the best test score so some day you can get a job making tests for kids. However, Chou and Asian Tiger Moms do have some good points. Studying can be very rewarding in the long run, even if getting stoned and playing video games might be more appealing in the next 15 minutes. Personally, it would be nice to have a mixture of both. Yes, you can go to the slumber party… if you finish your homework first.